What is being a man? The short answer is: being the master of your emotions, being at peace with your past and being who you truly are. I am talking about being able to control our emotions in a positive way, not concealing them deep down for no one to find them again. We all have emotions, every one of us. They are a part of who we are as humans and if we do not control them then they can get the best of us. Most men do not know how to cope with their emotions. We do not know how to cry properly. Jason Wilson made a very good point, we are all going to cry, they may not be physical tears but they might be metaphorical tears such as pornography addiction, alcoholism, spousal abuse, etc. If we do not face our past head on and quit bandaging those feelings or forcing them back down you can never truly be free. Jesus even cried, the perfect person shared that emotion so that John was able to document it.
I am able to cry in from of my wife knowing there will be no judgment from her and I am able to talk to her openly without fear of condemnation. Being a man is not acting like you have no emotion, acting tough all the time or doing ‘man things’. It is about caring for your fellow man, listening to those that are hurt, being free to share emotion and following Christ with all of your heart.
Dealing with your past is also a step to becoming a man. We need to be at peace with our past, what we have done in the past. Through prayer and meditation, I have been able to come to peace with it. Meditation is such a powerful tool and when we are able to sit still in total silence we are able to learn how our bodies feel, thoughts arise and we become in tune with our minds. The Lord speaks to us in times of silence because we open ourselves up to listening. I feel more connected with Christ every time I meditate. There is a free app called Headspace (not sponsored) that gives a 10-day course on the basics. I have used that and other resources and this is how I was able to come to peace with my past and put the past in the past.
I am a man because I am becoming a master of my emotions and I am at peace with my past. Let the past stay in the past and let us continue moving forward. Letting the past control us is something that can break a man, we do not need to let the past define us but to drive us to do better, to work harder and to stay on track with what is righteous. This is what it means to truly be at peace with your past. To be a man you must be confident in who you are, putting on a mask is not what being a man is all about, it is about being sensitive to the feelings of those around you. Being free from your past, mastering your emotion and being who you really are is what being a man is all about.